You Know How Rude It Is When..

..when ur EFFIN' askin a question and no one friggin replies??!!

when u want to be happy but people drag you doowwnn??!

when you think it would be the best day ever and it juz crumbles at the end??!

at the freakin last minute??!!

its like almost finishing a 1000000 pieces of puzzle..

and u lost the LAST piece!

ARGGGHH!!

im soo mad!!!

sad

irritated

tired

lonely

EVERYTHING!!

GAWD!!

SHIT!

..... i need.. some true.. love..

yes we are living in a world ruled by money.

which means at the same time..

we're living in a world which lacks of love..

pure love..

i need that..

God.. same me from myself..

i'm begging you..

Realized What I Didn't Realize

Searching for lost souls in September,

when I look up the sky seems to stretch out forever,

and I know that even if I sit here to November or December,

nothing will change if I don't look better.

If a friend is what you need,

so be it.

If sunshine is what you're needing,

then start smiling.

If you don't start,

it will never end..

neither will it ever begin.

You need to try through thick and thin,

To matter how it hard it may seem,

it deems its worth.

Everyone goes through heartbreak,

no one will ever really stay permanently happy

everyone sins,

no one lives a life without lying

I stood up a thousand questions in my head,

as the rainbow in the sky disappeared

I heard souls saying goodbye..

And .. I knew the truth..

I.. I was wrong.

I cried silent tears of joy in the wake of sunrise.

I looked at the horizon..

The peace and serenity of it all.. intrigued me.

One Thing

There's one thing everyone needs in life.

And that's love.

Not lust. Not money. Not sexual satisfaction.

LOVE.

Yes people often get tempted.

I do too.. I'm not afraid to admit it.

But sometimes you just know that you have one thing right there

Hidden under all those lies, burden, stress..

the longing...

to truly LOVE.

I'm scared..

I'm really really scared.

I want to love ..

but I don't want to break hearts,

I don't want to break my own heart either.

Yes I'm a coward.

.. Yes, I'm a hypocrite.

But above all..

I'm weak.

Ever since the beginning,

I was unable to choose between choices..

even when one choice seems most beneficial among others..

I won't listen to my heart..

I'm sorry..

But I'm scared.

And there's no shoulder there for me to cry on.

There's nobody I can fully trust to keep my secrets..

there's no one who BOTHERS...

I'm tired.. afraid... sad.. very very SCARED.. heartbroken..

lonely.. depressed, disappointed, mad.. everything..

I'm trying to put on a smile..

to be "Rachox"

but guys..

The truth is : I'M SCARED

A Short Story

I was new to this world, I had no one by my side to help me.
I fought on my own.. facing obstacles and challenges I knew I could never beat.
With people who claimed to be my comrades,
I kept walking down that road.. the road to destruction.

I knew for sure one day I would trip and fall.
And I would be trampled on..
not dead but forever hurt.

Then you came into my life.
Gave me support and love.
Gave me what I needed to move on despite the obstacles
I was truly blessed.

I turned away from the darkness that burdened me
I turned away from the fate I'd thought was fatal
Then I saw something I never knew before.

My comrades had betrayed me.
The darkness blinded me and now I could see..
the painful truth.

Then I prayed.
I prayed that my heart would heal.
I prayed that I would be okay..

Just like a miracle,
I felt a soft brush of air rush against my face
It was a presence so great that I had never felt before.
It was Jesus.

I cried.. I didn't know why.
I knelt down amazed at His presence just from one prayer
And he told me "Believe"

I acknowledged His words.
I did what He told me to.

And a few days later,
I found out secrets I never knew before
Secrets that I kept myself from knowing

Then I knew the truth of the truth
And the man I thought betrayed me..
was actually really the opposite.

I felt love for the first time and also my last.
We became eternally bonded.
And I prayed everyday just to hear Your whisper again.

--Written by Rachel

Choice in Colors

The Saddest Thing

by Angell

Looking up Seeing hate Who's slowly becoming life's mate People talking about the lost lives About the disturbed hearts and sickened minds So many innocent lives buried So many hopes and dreams shattered So many sleepless nights from now until forever By the casket tears fall Losing friend after friend Time after time It's getting old We lost the faith and hope of the world We lost love and replaced it with violence and harsh words Wishing danger wasn't in the day Wishing people would simply walk away News keep on coming out Another got shot Another committed suicide We'll never see what's going on Until the days end and everyone is gone This is what I call over-reacting O.o" I mean, come on.. Life isn't all about depression and crying and suicide and all that Life isn't short or torturing or filled with a terrible destiny (death) or whatever As long as you believe, there is no such thing as permanent death, life won't be short, it will be pleasing and great Life is full of COLORS. You have a choice. Its what God himself bestowed us.

Life's Choices

by Rose

Life is full of choices Make sure you pick the right one Don't listen to the voices Hear only yours and you have won Many people will tell you You need to change your looks Don't take to heart their view Fabulous bods are found only in books There is only one voice That you should listen to It will help make the right choice That is perfect just for you Your looks are your own Someone will always love you You will never be alone Look in the mirror and you'll see who You can always choose. Choose the dark colors.. or the BRIGHT ones =)

There Is Nothing More To Say

.. I've got no probs =)

Well.. maybe at least not now.

I think..

Hope 'probs' ain't coming anytime soon..

I'm really enjoying this break from stress and failures =3

And I really wish it can stay like this forever but..

I know it really ever can't..

'Loving the way you turn your back at me,

it makes me feel sick yet satisfied,

that you are not more than an illusion to me'

--from Rachox

Weird Feeling..

... No.

no no no no no!!!

xD Just throw this weird feeling away..

I cannot believe how totally naive and gullible I am!!

I mean.. how easy it is to fall in 'love' and get your heart crushed in the end..?

Like, TOTALLY EASY!!

But to get rid of that feeling later? Now THATs hard

But in my case, its actually much easier to fall in 'love'..

(yes I put those thingies up there because i don't really know what love is.. )

Because I've been ignored (by boys .. well AND girls) quite a lot my whole life

And now that things are turning up-side,

I'm actually feeling very .. happy.. =)

Although I'm not sure.. if.. 2Arif.. has.. forgiven my major slip-up yet...

But still..

I think..........

gawd.

I really don't want this.

i don't want to fall for anyone.

Not now...

I hope its not too late to turn back..