Maybe I didn't want to admit this all along, but.. I knew that this would happen anyway. Again and again. It makes me feel terrible but, I don't have any other choice.
Why are feelings so unfair sometimes? Why must I feel more to one person and less to the other when they are, actually, equal? It turns everything upside down. I can always seek protection from one side, but the other always gives me un-reassuring feelings.. which would most probably mean that I would feel weird, lost.. and most of all, regret.
I love the fact that I have people to turn to and people to laugh, cry and smile with. But what does that all mean when that person looks down on you? When that person denies the fact that you'd understand them.. Well maybe you don't .. I DON'T. But, I want to...
So here's something that makes sense:
'How would you know that something if no one tells you about it?'
I mean, seriously. = = Like, you wouldn't know how to read if people didn't tell you how to/ teach. And you wouldn't walk if you weren't trained by your parents, telling you everyday that it'll be okay. The same way I wouldn't understand anything .. if you don't tell me.
Whenever I see the truth in your eyes, in your words, in your heart, I feel pain. A sharp, sharp pain. A pain that no medicine can heal/ a pain that no laugh can heal. When I see that harsh truth, when I see that you deny my feelings ( especially when I don't like it myself) I feel terribly heartbroken. Does it matter so much about what people think of you?
A misty night,
the blurry vision
of a starlit moonlight.
A clouded heart,
the undecisive personality
of a fully loved
DARKNESS.
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