Sorry..

I'm actually sick in a sense that I'm coughing..

and that I'm lost and confused..

and that my I feel so weak.. like I've lost all my energy.

And I hate to admit it but..

I feel lonely.

Even though you guys are around,

even though I laugh or smile or try to be happy,

I'm lonely.

I don't know why...

And I think.. I feel...

that other people don't want me around.

(not you guys, just.. some bitches and .. some other guys..)

I feel like no matter how hard I try to be a friend,

it never works.

Instead of giving them the idea that I want to be their friend,

I end up giving them the idea that I'm annoying.

And, yes, I don't know why.

So am I supposed to suck like this for the rest of my life?

Its gone so long already...

REALLY REALLY long..

And I don't know why you call yourselves Christians..

and you're not helping me at all.

You guys are so not showing kindness at all.

You're thinking I'm just an annoying girl that does not deserve my attention

unless I need her to like.. borrow book right?

Or change the speed of the fan?(ex.)

I know it!!

Don't you dare deny it!

That's what your eyes tell me..

heck, its what you DO!

If you're Christians.. you're not supposed to hurt people this way!

You're not supposed to back stab people.

You're not supposed to cast people you do not favor to a corner

You're not supposed to BE THIS WAY!!

I don't even know what Christians are anymore you know that?!

You guys are corrupted evil minded freaks!

And someday, you're gonna pay the price for disgracing His name..

God is a fair God.

... And i'm sorry for yelling and screaming and venting..

I'm sorry for emo-ing..

I'm sorry for jerking you guys off..

I'm sorry for crying..

I'm sorry for being annoying.

I'm sorry for being a nobody to you.

I'm sorry for being so sensitive

I'm sorry for being so emotional.

I'm sorry for being a jerk.

I'm sorry for my jealousy towards you

I'm sorry for my anger

I'm sorry for what I've done in the past.

I'm sorry for being a nerd.

I'm sorry for being so overprotective.

I'm sorry that I hurt myself.

I'm sorry for putting the blame on you.

I'm sorry for putting on a disguise.. a show.

I'm sorry for making you feel sad.

I'm sorry for being wrong.

I'm sorry for stirring up unneeded problems.

I'm sorry for making such mistakes.

I'm sorry that I can't tell you face-to-face

I'm sorry that my life is so horrible.

I'm so sorry for putting an extra burden on you

I'm so sorry for cursing you at night before I sleep

I'm sorry for not listening to your advice,

I'm sorry because I felt like I'd wanted to murder you

I'm sorry for being so selfish

I'm sorry for being ugly.

I'm sorry for being so long-winded

I'm sorry for over reacting

I'm sorry that I brought you down.

I'm sorry that I made myself become like this.

I'm sorry that I've never succeeded in anything I try,

I'm sorry that I looked down on you..

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..